Flashbacks…

My husband drove off in the 4Runner tonight, and there was a catch in my throat as I watched him disappear around the corner.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to watch him drive away in that vehicle without feeling a pang in my heart.  That scene takes me back to my NBBI days when I’d stand on the steps of my dorm and tearfully watch him drive away after a visit, not sure when I’d see him again, hurting, wishing to be near him, wishing the waiting period was over and I could go home with him.  It takes me back to when we broke up for 2 torturous months and he came back to KBI to visit the friend who I’d brought back to see AB after school in NB let out.  I’d rushed outside for a very energetic walk (and a talk with God), angry at how things were, hurting, confused, and trying to understand WHY! (and it was totally not fair that Jerry & Dyson could take off to BC for the weekend and I couldn’t even hardly talk to Jerry anymore!!!)  I came back to the central part of campus just in time to see the 4Runner speeding up the road, leaving campus…taking part of my heart with it.

His wave as he leaves melts my heart…and makes it catch.  I will never be able to watch him leave in that vehicle without feeling flashbacks of the pain of a long-distance relationship.  It was worth it.  Totally worth it!  But I am thankful that now I can take a deep breath and remind myself that it’s ok — I am his wife and he’s coming back in an hour.  He won’t be gone long.  It’s only across town, not across the country.  He’ll be back this evening.  I can continue with what I was doing.  The pain doesn’t need to be there anymore.  We are together.   I will walk through life with him.  And I am THANKFUL!

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