I’ve been sick for 7 weeks straight. “Morning” sickness that lasts 24/7. I would LOVE it if it was indeed just “morning” sickness, but it was not to be. It’s been difficult to see past the mountain of sickness. That’s all my days are, it seems — fighting the nausea, trying to think of foods that will stay down, forcing food in when I really don’t WANT to eat but should, feeling sick all the time, and, of course, appointments with my good friend MP — My Pail. Most days it’s hard to see past this all, to realize that this is caused by a BABY. Reality consists of being sick. Very sick. All the time. Seven weeks. I start going crazy when I’m sick for less than ONE week, typically! Seven is definitely pushing it!
Sometimes I have good days. On those days, it’s easier to think “Baby.” I start to get excited on those days and think happy planning thoughts and dream of having a baby in my arms. Then the nausea comes back with a vengeance and life goes back to survival mode. It’s been rather depressing. And that’s putting it very mildly!
One of the nurses I worked with in Long Term Care sent this gift home with Jerry the other day, though. It nearly made me cry. Suddenly, there was more to life than being sick. There was a baby. A BABY. Like, for real! It was nice to see something concrete to remind me of that. To remind me that this will not last forever. Because trust me, it feels like it’s been forever already! No, someday there will be little feet pattering around in my kitchen. I will not be sick all the time. I will just be tired all the time, then! But there IS a baby. And there IS something to look forward to, even when I can’t see more than MP some days!