In the space of less than a week, we’ve had Andrew & April visiting for about 5 days, Mom & Dad here for about 2 days, and now Timothy popped in to visit for the evening! It’s strange to have everyone here in such a short period of time! (Especially since the baby hasn’t even been born yet!) We’ve enjoyed them, though. Timothy’s been helping me set up and customize my computer this evening while Jerry was at worship practice. It’s nice to slowly be making my computer “mine.” Not “MINE” as in only mine and not Jerry’s, but mine as in customized and familiar and personalized. Anyway, he showed us all his Higher Challenge pictures as well as some really cool mountain pictures I’m going to post later this week.
This morning a lady from church came to visit me. Her visit was, very literally, an answer to prayer. She was sick for all 9 months of her pregnancy, only she was brave and did it FOUR times! I’m not sure I could do that…so far I keep telling Jerry and his family that they had better be praying this baby is a boy if they want their family name carried on ’cause I’m not sure I’ll ever want to do this pregnancy thing again!!!
It was so nice to talk with someone who KNOWS what it’s like to be sick for so long. I can believe her when she says, “It will all be worth it when you have the baby!” because she’s been through it. Everyone tells me, “Oh, pregnancy is the easy part! Wait till you actually have the baby and it’s crying and keeping you up nights, and all you do is change and feed, change and feed, etc. etc. etc!” thus causing me to almost dread having the baby, because pregnancy has NOT been the easy part for me so far and I’d hate to think it gets worse than this! But she said once she gave birth she felt amazing because hey, she wasn’t sick all the time anymore!!! Who cares if the baby is crying and crying? Anything is better than throwing up repeatedly!
I will always have a deep respect and sympathy for people with chronic illness after this… I can’t imagine being sick from cancer or something like that, knowing it may never improve. At least I know that there IS an end to this. There is no way a baby can live inside me for years! But with cancer, there may be no hope for some people. I can’t imagine living like that.
She brought a couple of her kids along, and I enjoyed playing with them a bit and soaking in their exuberance and love of life and energy…it’s nice to know some people in the world still have energy!!! (I’m jealous!) They brought flowers for me, and the card did NOT say “Get better soon!” or something like that (I’ve given up on “getting better” until January and being told, “Well, hope you feel better tomorrow!” is getting rather old) but rather, “hope these brighten your day!” They did.
Being sick allll the time is very wearing, emotionally, and this past week has been really rough. There are times when it seems I just can’t go on any longer. I want a bridge to jump off, and I want it NOW! People say it will all be worth it in the end, but when that comes on the heels of them telling me that pregnancy was the best part of their life, and they felt amazing and loved every minute of it … well, it’s just not very comforting! “Easy for YOU to say!” (yes, 18 weeks of 24/7 nausea has made me just a LITTLE bit cynical!)
I was reaching the end of my rope and the visit this morning was like God throwing me another rope to hang on to for a little longer. 4 more months. I can do this. The baby car seat she brought for us is sitting on my kitchen floor, and I intend to leave it there a while. It’s hope. It helps me look ahead and what is to come. Soon this little baby will be kicking in that car seat, not my tummy. I can’t wait to see Jerry with our little baby!