I came to a conclusion today. Baby Eagles is just proving that he is indeed, without a shadow of a doubt, a Siebert/Eagles baby.
Now, before you all go freaking out over the fact that I said “he,” NO, we don’t know that he’s a HE, but I much prefer calling it a “he” than an ambiguous, generic “it” that makes it seem like this pregnancy is just a 35 week episode of sickness causes by an abnormal growth in my abdomen! Besides, it’s somehow been easier all the way along to use the pronoun “he” than “she” — it just comes more naturally and I don’t have to mentally force my brain to change the automatic “he” to “she” before it comes out. And like someone else said, why waste brain cells fighting pronouns before we know which side we’re fighting on?! (http://inashoe.com/2008/04/its-a-boy-maybe/) Besides…God used the masculine pronoun “he” all throughout the Bible to refer to both genders. So I figure I’m in good company!
ANYWAY…back to the point. Sieberts seem to have enormous trouble being on time. Eagles also seem to have this same difficulty. So obviously, our baby is just proving that he is an authentic Eagles/Siebert baby!
I’m a strange mix of patience and impatience right now.
Back in mid-December, the Dr. told us Baby might be coming early because he was VERY quiet for several days, and sometimes that is an indication that it is preparing for birth. So, I looked forward to an early baby — but at the same time hoped it wouldn’t come till Jerry’s play was over. Then I really hoped it would come early — but first we had to move. I wanted it to come early, but then I wanted a few days to unpack after moving in. I would’ve loved for it to arrive over the Christmas holidays, but life was crazy and insane with all the celebrating and company. Then Christmas was over and everyone went home and I really wanted the baby to come before its due date, but at the same time, I hoped for a few more days to “nest,” put my house back in order, and spend a bit more “just us” time with Jerry.” Then I hoped for another day or two to finish a blanket I was making for the baby.
Now…the play is over. We are moved. Christmas is over. The baby’s room is ready. The blanket is ready. Jerry & I have most thoroughly enjoyed several blissful days of “us” time. I feel refreshed. Settled in. There is nothing looming on the horizon that I must push myself to prepare for. Nothing to hurry and finish. The last weeks have been such a panicked rush of frantically trying to get everything done and pushing myself to my limits, and now, suddenly, it is all over. I don’t need to anymore. I am ready. I have meals in the freezer. The house is unpacked enough to live. I’m caught up on laundry. There is bread in the freezer. But there’s no baby!
It’s so strange not to be pushing ahead to the next thing. I’m not bored — I doubt that will EVER happen! But I feel strangely … bored! aimless. I think I may not know how to function without that adrenaline coursing through my body! So I putter through my day .. making applesauce … an extra batch of bread … putting things away here and there … but there’s no panic. No rush. Just puttering. Jerry & I went for a walk when he got home from work yesterday, and enjoyed the new countryside. He fixed the dryer vent, and I puttered away at the dishes and building his lunch for the next day. We played a leisurely game before heading to bed. It’s so strange to slow down! Since possession date life has been absolutely CRAZY with fixing the house and packing and getting ready to move and for Christmas and company and the baby and now it’s suddenly not and … it’s strange. I almost don’t know what to do with myself!
Nevertheless, it’s LOVELY to slow down. To have time to breath. To sit in my rocker beside the Christmas tree and just watch the snow falling outside in our park. We saw 3 moose in our back-up spot the other day. Just chillin’ out, enjoying themselves! We are thrilled beyond belief to have our own place out in the country now. It is balm for the soul. I didn’t realize how much I missed living in the country until now. It’s so peaceful.
So here we are … enjoying the quietness … God’s winter creation … and waiting for our baby. Anxious for it to arrive so we can bring it home to our castle. Missing it, strangely, as we cuddle on the couch in front of our tree in the evening. How can you miss someone you’ve never met before? I don’t know. But our “twosome” is suddenly feeling lonesome. We are missing our “third.” So we are eagerly awaiting its arrival. But enjoying this calm interlude also.