I’ve pretty much stopped blogging, these last few years. Mostly because life got a lot easier when I finally finished Bible school out east. I didn’t need to make a conscious decision to “Choose Joy” anymore, because it came much easier. I wasn’t homesick anymore. I was starting a new life with my man, and loving it. We were [FINALLY!] together. No more long-distance torture. No more aching heart.
Then I got pregnant and super-sick and kind of stopped living for a while.
Then we had a little girl who screamed a LOT and life was a blur.
Life is still a blur, but now I have a two year old. She doesn’t scream herself to sleep anymore (I am SO thankful that is done!) but she does find many other reasons to scream. Apparently little ones have a sin nature! Who knew?! Apparently their parents have a sin nature too, because there are a lot of days * I * feel like screaming!
And as I read this post by a friend the other day, I suddenly realized that I’ve lost perspective. The strong will of my two year old firecracker, the tiredness, the stresses at work, the everyday trials of life, the extraordinary trials of life that always come — they are looming up and I am allowing them to too much time and space.
By focusing on those things, I’m missing out on the joy that our little firecracker brings. I’m missing the happy fact that Jerry found more of my caffeine gum, which means I CAN be tired and still survive the day, with its help. I’m missing the simple pleasure of just BEING there for the elderly people at work. Someday, I want someone to genuinely care about me, when I’m that old and fragile. Today, I can be that person to make their day brighter.
Sometimes I need to just stop. And just breathe. And look around for the good. For the little things that make life special. For the little blessings God sends each day.
Blessings like puppies, which people are willing pay money for, which in turn pays for another block of school for Jerry! And the blessing of springtime puppies, which meant Elianna could spend hours outside loving on them!